Confessions of a Maekup Artist

March 21, 2018

6 years ago, I decided, I’M A MAKEUP ARTIST! I had always been good at makeup, mostly my own. I had friends in the industry, it looked easy enough. I had the essentials, makeup I had owned for years (all drugstore), brushes (also, drugstore ones my mom got me when I was in the hospital with my twins), and talent… Or so I thought. I became obsessed with YouTube stars like Jaclyn Hill, SMLX0, and Chrisspy. Any product they said I needed I went out and got, not caring if I could afford it. Any holiday or birthday, my husband knew what to get me. The newest pallets on the market. I quickly stocked up on everything I needed to venture off and kill the game.

 

I had everything. Everything but confidence. I’ve struggled with insecurities my whole life. There’s not a time I can remember where I was comfortable in my own skin. I used humor to hide it all, mostly making fun of myself before anyone else could. Here I was, a mother of 5, wife, 30s creeping up and I was too scared to follow my dreams. I’m too old. I can’t afford that. I have too many kids. I’m not pretty enough. I’m not skilled enough. Those are thoughts that crippled me.  

 

I made an Instagram for makeup and didn’t tell any of my mua friends because I simply thought they would laugh. I knew I was good, but I was critical of myself. Never posting pictures of my work with the fear the “pro’s” would think thoughts like “who does she think she is?” or “she’s terrible?” I remember posting my very first photo. Texting my family “please go like and comment on my picture” so I didn’t look so lame to everyone else.

 

With the help of my oh so supportive husband and lots and lots of prayers, I began to promote myself and take clients. I remember the first few weddings I was hired for, I was so afraid and as time came closer I would want to cancel. I was slow and unorganized, and still with that little voice in my head telling me I wasn’t good enough. It definitely showed in my work, so I stopped taking clients and focused more on social media. Doing makeup on myself, posting pictures, and tagging every single makeup line and influencer I knew of to try and gain publicity. I felt comfortable, but not content. I wanted so badly to be like my makeup artist friends, always booked with clients.

 

It wasn’t until I started working with Chanel Molleo, a very well-known and talented makeup artist in Arizona and one of the most bold followers of Christ I know (@ChanelMolleoBeautyCo on Instagram) She would hire me for fitness competitions to do hair. I was too intimidated to do makeup for her, especially because she was so amazing, I felt I could never measure up, I didn’t even want to try. I remember on a Saturday morning at a hotel in Tucson, where dozens of women would be coming in to have their hair and makeup done for a competition, Chanel told me “Nope, you’re doing makeup today” I immediately began to panic, telling her no no no I am not fast enough, I don’t feel comfortable, I can’t. She looked at me and said “GIRL! You have to learn some time, you will do great”. It was THE FIRST time a professional makeup artist supported me and believed in me. That was the start of Felicia Maekup.

 

God put her in my path for so many reasons, but ultimately, she helped in building my confidence.  I’ve learned so much from her and I only get more talented. I believe in myself, I’m proud of myself, most importantly, I’m confident.

 

Makeup doesn’t have to be vanity. It shouldn’t be. It’s an art that is ever changing. I always make sure to comment and support other makeup artists because it costs me nothing, and if I could have a hand in someone’s “I am good enough”, like Chanel had in mine, I’d be honored.

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